Celebutarded

Well, crap.

I try not to write the name Britney Spears, because who the hell cares? She’s a mess, and hasn’t had any fans in ten years, and even then it was only a few 12-year-old girls who didn’t understand the first thing about what music is.

But now she has to go and be crazy like this. Last night she wouldn’t return her two kids to Kevin Federline’s bodyguard to take back home, and so the police had to be called. Standoff ensues, and she’s dragged out of her house on a gurney and taken to a hospital for a mental evaluation. It took three hours of standoff, though, before she finally gave up the hostages (her 1-year-old and 2-year-old) and they took her in. She’s reported as being under the influence of “unknown substances.” Or not?

Police initially said it appeared that Spears was under the influence of an unknown substance but Harding said Friday she could not confirm that or other reports that Spears was hospitalized for mental evaluation.

Her sister, fresh from her canceled TV show due to pregnancy, shows up by her side to support her. Her mother, Lynne Spears — wait, WTF? Her mom’s name is Lynne, and she named one of her daughters Jamie Lynn? What kind of egomaniacal thing to do is that??? — says to just pray for Britney.

Yeah, ok, sure, whatever. I pray that she stays crazy, because anything else would be a sad disappointment at this point. What’s she done lately? CNN helps us out with that thrilling summary:

Spears’ life has spiraled downward during the past year. She has been photographed without underwear and appeared to be drunk and out-of-control in public. She shaved her head, beat a car with an umbrella, spent a month in rehab and has had a handful of fender benders, including one in which she ran over a photographer’s foot.

Anyone see an Anna Nicole Smith ending coming here?

Not to get too personal here, but what’s wrong with Britney and Jamie Lynn’s mother that her two kids both turned out so messed up? Does anyone know anything about her? Is she crazy or something? That seems to be the answer to the whole Britney Spears puzzle, if you ask me.

And now Britney has two kids herself, and her sister will have one soon also? The cycle continues…